The "Goofiest" Of All Fishing Trips
There are a lot of places in this world where one can go to find solace, peace and tranquility while wetting a line for fish.
Walt disney world in Orlando Florida is not the first place that comes to mind.
Nonetheless, right there beneath the shadow of the magic Kingdom, amongst wide-eyed roller coaster riders, a stones throw from Tinkerbell's safety harness, exists one of the prime Largemouth Bass fishing waters you will find anywhere.
Remote? No.
Pristine? Hardly.
Filled with hungry fat Largemouth Bass....YES!!
I'm not really sure what compelled me to book a two hour disney Bass fishing adventure.
I don't know if I was curious that possibly a rather large mouse might show up at the dock with a fishing vest full of sponsor patches,and a big wad of chew between his cheek and gum. Or, if mechanical alligators might raise up out of the water- jaws agape-while I reached down to pick up my bass by the lips. Or, if perhaps cannonballs might be landing dangerously close to the boat as we all sang yo-ho yo- ho a fisherman's life for me....
Or maybe, just maybe, after wandering around the magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, Epcot and MGM for four days, bouncing off of an endless stream of six year olds with attached parents in tow,eating space burgers,frontier burgers,Yeti burgers, and trying to figure out how to amuse myself in line for 60 minutes while waiting to have the POOH scared out of me.....maybe, just maybe I thought that I might just find a few hours away from the hustle,bustle and silent freakish stares of Chip and Dale.
I must admit, as we were making plans for a family trip to the mother of all amusement parks, I had spotted this fishing adventure on the Disney website. As my wife locked us in for five days of "Disney magic", I writhed in agony wondering just how many princesses there must be if it takes five days to see them.My six year old daughter was obviously thrilled.
Being a card carrying member of the "I want to go fishing club", I figured this may be my only opportunity to sneak in some fishing on this trip. And if you have ever looked at a map of the Orlando area, you will see that this is an abundant area of lakes, not to mention short drives to the coastal areas and ocean fishing galore. In other words it was killing me, knowing how close to great fishing I was--but unless they had trout swimming along the waterways of Splash Mountain--I was never going to see any of them.
So, after the third day of posing for pictures with oversized rodents, dragons, and perky princesses, I called the disney central reservation line for "active fun"-as if screaming and doing isometric hand grips on Expedition Everest, or ogling Pocahontas is not considered active fun!- and booked a bass fishing trip for the next morning. Evidently, the line and waiting period for the "largemouth bass ride" is not nearly as long as the wait for Peter Pan, because the nice girl (I think it may have been Cinderella) was able to get us a fishing trip out of the contemporary Hotel Marina with no problem.
Didn't even have to get a FastPass!!
Best of all, we didn't have to get up early. We were scheduled for 10:00 a.m.
Like all disney events and productions, great attention to detail and planning is done to insure the perfect family experience. That is why catch and release is the practice on Seven Seas lagoon and Bay lake, (the two primary fishing waters at Walt disney World) and probably a big reason for the reliable fishery.
AND like all disney adventures and productions, the perfect family experience has it's price.
$230.00 for two hours of fishing!
That's a lotta rubber worms.
In fairness, that is the rental of the boat and the boat can handle up to five fishermen(four if they are wearing mouse ears.) so really you technically can get it under fifty bucks a person.
AND like all disney events-it was well worth the price to see the excited look on my daughters face when I told her we were gonna catch us " a messa bass".
Most of the guides showed up at the marina a few minutes early and looked like they had part time roles on The Animal Planet. The boats were spotless, fully equipped and ready to go. Since there were three of us and we had a "little one" on board, we were given a pontoon type boat rather than a bass boat.
I expected Steve the crocodile hunter to be our guide for the day,but as it turned out our guide was to be a lovely lady by the name of Holly.
Guess Goofy had the day off.
After quick introductions we were on board our Tracker and on our way.
Now, for those of you that have read any previous articles I have written, you will quickly realize that I was going fishing with three members of the "e-factor" estrogen fishing society. If you are not familiar with this secret society, let's just say that I had about as much of a chance of outfishing these ladies as getting a date with Ariel or Snow White.
As we motored our way out of the natural waters of Bay lake and into the man made Seven Seas lagoon, Holly, a veteran of over twenty years in the disney corporation, gave us some interesting facts on her background with disney world. Having spent the first part of her career with Disney in "guest relations" she had mainly handled "guest" complaints, so the fishing guide position she had held for the last eight years was a welcome relief. She had grown up in Louisiana fishing for bass, and she was well qualified for obviously one of the most coveted positions that the 70,000 or so folks on the disney world payroll could have. Spending your day out on the water away from the crowds certainly seemed a better tour of duty, than trying to manipulate a pen with oversized paws inside a large fur coat in 90 degree weather.
But that's just me.
We motored on by the big ferry boat loaded with another group of guests ready for a d-day like assault on the magic Kingdom, and pulled up to the shallows near an island. I knew I would have to catch my fish early on, before the "estrogen" effect would occur and I would be relegated to camera duty.
Even though catch and release is the practice on these waters, live bait is still the bait of choice. Being a steelhead and salmon fisherman from Oregon I was unfamiliar with the little "shiners" that they use down south to produce the big bass, but as if on cue, within a minute of tossing the little fellar into the drink I had my first largemouth on--and it was a nice one too!
I hoisted a chubby four pound bass onto the boat, and as I grabbed him by the "largemouth" I made sure he was real, and not some animatronic disney bass that was about to break into a chorus of "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog".
Pretty soon Sara, my daughter, had her first bass on and mom was right behind her with her first bass.
Dang, the estrogen had kicked in early.
As promised, disney had already delivered a great family experience and since most of the fish caught by my daughter had been crappie sized fish out of her Grandpa's pond, the look of excitement that Sara had on her face when she hoisted her first largemouth bass was well worth the price of admission.
We each caught several more bass with the biggest running close to five pounds.
Sara, like any six year old, quickly lost interest in the labor involved with catching fish, and turned her interest to the "shiners" swimming in the live well.
I guess you might say she took a shine to 'em!! HA!
Anyway, she became are unofficial "shiner" go-fer, and kept the little fish in shape, by chasing them around trying to catch them with her bare hands.
After a short dry spell, we headed off to other "pristine" waters. This spot happened to be at the ferry landing, where all the people line up for the d-day assault.Under the watchful eyes of hundreds of disney patrons and a couple of Herons and Egrets, we went bass fishing. After landing another big chubby in front of the bored line sitters, they all let out a loud cheer and like the shy fella I am, I hoisted my trophy like I had just won Bassmaster's $10,000 first prize on ESPN.
Unfortunately, one of our released fish didn't fare to well and soon was floating belly up near the ferry boat. A Heron made a heroic effort to hoist the big fish from the waters, but the two pound fish was too much and he retired back to his front row seat on shore.
Although there is always going to be a certain amount of attrition, even when you are catching and releasing fish, I think the disney folks would just as soon their bass went belly up away from the gates to Fantasyland, and we soon had a radio call from Holly's boss telling us to move from the docks-because it was too windy.
Seemed odd since there was only the faintest of breezes in the air.
We still felt bad, and certainly didn't want to be responsible for kids being permanently scarred for life, so we moved.
Not that disney does anything to ever permanently scar kids!!??
It was just as well, because by now my wife was using her unfair estrogen advantage to outfish me two to one, which was even noticed by the ferry boat- line operator, who made it a point to walk over to our boat and tell us of his keen observation.
Darn estrogen.
By the time we motored our way back into Bay lake our "two hour cruise" was pretty much at an end. Of course there was still the matter of settling up on the bill, and receiving a nice complimentary subscription to a bass fishing magazine---which of course happens to be owned by disney.....
As we left the boat and headed back into the perfect world of magical princesses, long lines, and the ever present gift shops, I couldn't help but think that I had just got off the best ride at disney world.
Well-except for the Mad Tea Cups....
A.J. Klott Author, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack" peddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and modern day events that surround the fishing world. His first book is now out and being sold out of the back of a 1976 Opal Cadet.Coming to your town soon. If you need a laugh or a fun gift, visit his website at: http://www.twoguyswithflys.com
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What Foods To Eat To Lose Weight
These days it is common for people wanting to lose weight to ask questions on how many calories they should or should not eat in a day. Fact is you need to understand how much weight you lose and how quickly you lose is dependent on how overweight you are and if you are metabolically challenged and not on the amount of calories that you are consuming.
Calories count but they are not the only solution to a weight loss plan. Remember also that you cannot lose weight overnight just as you did not gain your weight overnight. Dieters often look to quick and easy way to lose weight and yet not having to starve themselves or to do strenous exercises.
You do not have to go hungry to shed off your pounds, if only you know what foods to eat and how to go about eating them. Fundamentally you need to eat foods that are metabolism-friendly, one that has carbohydrates with a low glycemic index or with both low and moderate glycemic indexes.
foods that are high in protein generally are low in carbohydrates and also have a low glycemic index for examples eggs, chickens, turkey, ostrich, all kinds of fish, red meat. To cut out the fat, be certain to choose lean cuts of meat or remove chicken skin. Soy products such tofu, soy milk, soy yogurt, soy burgers, soy powder.
Vegetables and salad greens are naturally low in carbohydrates and fat and high in minerals, fiber and vitamins. If you eat vegetable raw, it has a lower glycemic index than if you eat it cooked, and has higher antioxidants and vitamins.
Starchy vegetables also have low to moderate GI, however be aware that white potatoes have relatively high GI. Yam, sweet potatoes and taro root have a lot of carbohydrates that are unrefined and contain a lot of fiber.
Bread and pastas have generally moderate to high GI, but those with the highest GI includes bagels, tortillas, white bread, pita bread and should be aware of that. Look out for bread with 6 to 8 grams of fiber per large slice and 4 grams per small slice and that contains no refined flour, added sugar or honey.
most plain dry or cooked cereals have a moderate GI. You need to look out for those with low GI such as oatmeal. Crackers generally have a high GI, even if they are whole grain , this is because they are made from finely milled grains which raises the GI. Brown rice has a high GI but it is still better than white rice due to its minerals and vitamins.
Fruits generally have a moderate GI and although they are high in sugar, most have it in the form of fructose which is not converted to glucose. They are also high in fiber. Avoid ripe bananas because they have high GI compared to unripe banana because the starch in them turns to sugar. Go easy on high GI fruits such as pineapples, mangoes and melons. Go for apples instead.
Once you start becoming aware of what foods make for a high glycemic index, you will begin to eat more wisely and not compromising on your weight loss effort. If you are overweight you still need to consult your doctor on your overall health and weight status and get proper guidance.
Get your exclusive free report on weight Loss without dieting at http://www.Weight-Loss-Secrets-Revealed.net
Want to find out how you can burn calories more effectively? Just click on the link and learn the hidden secrets.
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The Myth of the Mainstream
'Mainstream' - a principal current of a river, 1667, from main (adj.) + stream, hence, "prevailing direction in opinion, popular taste, etc.," a fig. use first attested in Carlyle (1831).
I propose that the concept of 'the mainstream', be it music, art, ideas, politics, entertainment and all other social constructs, is and has always been a social myth.
The key to this argument lies in the cyclical nature of the market economy, political thought, and technological advancement. For sake of simplicity, I shall concentrate solely on the development and eventual disintegration of the concept of the 'mainstream'.
What came before the MP3? The CD.
And before that? Vinyl.
And before that? Shellac and wax drums for musical boxes.
And before that? sheet Music. Musical Scores.
As funny as it sounds now, at the very dawn of 'Popular Music' or pop, a 'Hit' technically accounted for the total sales of a sheet of music, a musical score. The expectation and reality of the market was solely reliant on availability of current technologies at the time (namely music boxes and pianos) and the musical ability of the consumer.
For the main part it was more economic to purchase an upright piano rather than a the musical box, purchasing songs for a music box was a privilege of the rich. Imagine paying $500 for an mp3 track? No one in their right mind would, yet the physical nature of such devices meant that supplying a range of music for any device would be beyond the reach of the masses. The 'Player Piano' moved things along somewhat, creating rolls of punch paper reduced the costs considerably. For many this was new technology was still out of reach of the average, or even middle income family.
For most, instead of an Ipod, there would stand, pride of place in the Sitting Room or Parlour, a basic upright piano, of which at least one member would be able to read and play music, and the others would at the very least need to hold a whole gamut of decent notes to make the performance painlessly entertaining. The more savvy music publishers (yes they were printers and nothing more), realized early on that if they wanted to increase their sales they'd need to expand their market.
A few seemingly harmless pointers to publishing a popular 'hit' led to a series of hard and fast rules that held back the creative growth of the music industry for over a century.
family friendly. Their market was the Middle-Class family, they had money, Sunday Evenings with little to do, a strong moral and religious upbringing and a very definite idea of what music should do.
It shouldn't offend, anyone, anywhere, anyhow. It cannot include any mention of any controversy. The melody must be light, instantly engaging and simple to follow. The whole family must be able to join in and not feel awkward or embarrassed in anyway. Basically hymns.
The market began to fracture eventually, songs for the kids, religious, risque ditties for young lovers and dirty old men, then came style... jazz, blues, big band. Finally wax rolls for musical boxes gave way to shellac and eventually Vinyl discs and as the sound quality improved, and the availability increased and prices reduced, finally those that played the piano instead of a Gramophone, were the rare exception.
The world has changed a lot since then, but as with all things fashion has a funny habit of repeating itself. More and more iPod fans and mp3 addicts are beginning to manipulate their own collections, with the development of a whole series of cheap and cheerful music mixing software releases on the way, it doesn't seem so far-fetched to imagine a time in the not so distant future where rather than the 'Mainstream' we will be talking in terms of Single Streams, or even the 'Onestream'.
In the past the more forward thinking printers and publishers of the day decided to buy music from songwriters for a pittance, sometimes even steal them outright and make all the profit for themselves. Now things are changing beyond belief.
Anyone can make music to a point with the aid of software and electronic instruments that a child could learn and play within minutes. With the increased interactivity involved in many of the new technologies, the PC being the original focal point, most consumers are no longer purely consuming, they are now producing. Be it their own Tivo TV schedule, the play list on their iPod, the answer phone message they recorded themselves. Consumption was never a creative act, but finally it seems technology is enabling individuals to come to that conclusion by themselves.
Eventually few people will purchase entertainment in any form, simply the means to produce it. As part of my Fine Arts Degree many years ago, I specialized in Photo Montage, appropriating and aggregating a variety of disparate images, and manipulating and combining them to form a new and original work. Nowadays few would ever consider going through the rigmarole of cutting and pasting printed matter when a graphics program and the internet can provide vast more choice in subject matter and imagery.
Technology has led our actions, or rather inaction for most of the 20th Century, in the 21st we are witnessing the slow decay of Consumerism itself, and at the beginning the first change we are all both witnessing and providing, is technological manipulation of consumer goods.
As the manufacturers of multimedia devices finally catch up with demand we will witness more and more graphic and sound interactivity to the point that most products will simply enable us to create our own entertainment, as we have in histories past. The only difference is that your Bedroom DJ Mix is now heard by the world rather than an unwilling friend or family member. Local heroes and heroines will be born, down the road from my place are the band Keane, a very successful UK pop band from Battle, Sussex. without the proliferation of social networking technologies I doubt that their meteoric rise to fame would have been as startling.
Other more stark examples are Gnarls Berkley and the Arctic Monkeys, who via the Myspace.com service have become major players in the world music scene. This isn't simply a technological change. The 'Futurism' Arts Movement at the turn of the last century was obsessed with painting fast cars and trains and planes, as much as a young boy might do these days. No one wants to draw an MP3 player, no one wants to write a poem about their xbox. People want to 'use' them, and they do, all of them.
The idea that materialism can enable anything other than a show of wealth has changed, we no longer have toys, we have tools. Consumption is now lured by the idea of Production, the snake is eating itself.
Within your lifetime, your or someone you know will produce something remarkable, the miraculous is about to become commonplace and the 'Mainstream, obsolete.
The mainstream is diverging into a billion tributaries, the concept of popularity, and eventually mass advertising will dry up, along with monolithic centralized institutions and corporations. We as individuals are finally learning to disagree with each other, we are taking informed and personal choices in our consumption, and eventually the production of our own 'streams'. We fish for ideas, we take those ideas and create our own unique range of arts, entertainment and individual understanding of the world. And when we're bored with our own minds, we trade our goods with others, some like-minded, some not so.
Music, Art, Entertainment, conceived, designed and produced by the individual for the individual. Very much the way we began. Travelling Minstrels, visiting one village and the next, trading music, trading styles, ideas, even new technologies, but for the main part from home.
There never was a mainstream, the concept of the mainstream was conceived for the convenience of unwieldy organizations with little ability or even impetus to change. Like a vast dam, blocking and filtering the river, it is now beginning to crumble, and creative sources and flowing in from all directions, a veritable waterfall of new ideas, sounds and images are about to be born.
Paul Baines, Singer Songwriter for http://www.OneManBrand.co.uk. A UK Based Electronic Musician, Designer and Writer. Visit http://www.onemanbrand.co.uk to find out more...
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