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The Top 10 Steps to DeStress

Do you feel tense and anxious at work? Do your co-workers and/or boss make you crazy? Is your personal life less than blissful? If so, you've got stress. If you're like most people you've sought refuge from this situation by trying a quick fix or two like calling a friend, walking the dog, or going away for the weekend in an attempt to escape it all. While these strategies may serve as temporary diversions, nothing in your life changes when you return to your routine.

Stress is internal, which explains why it can wreak havoc on your health. It feels awful...it's the sense that you're not in control. The easiest way to mitigate its effect is to take charge of the one and only thing you have the power to control...YOU, and let go of what you can't control. The beauty of this recipe is that by taking control of your life, external or outside things will change in response to your internal changes. Here are 10 steps to destress for your present and future:

1. Heal yourself.

Dr. Bruce McEwen, who wrote The End of Stress As We Know It, suggests that eliminating stress comes right from your grandmother's journal. He says the most effective steps you can take are the simplest: exercise, a healthy diet, regular sleep, moderate to minimal alcohol intake, and no smoking. This, he notes, is the most sophisticated, up to the minute, cutting edge science available!

2. Get organized.

Physical clutter reminds us of things that need to be done and that's stressful. Remove your physical clutter and you'll eradicate your mental clutter, plus you'll feel energized. Please go to http://topten.org/public/AG/AG306.html for a simple organizing solution that will work on any space.

3. Set boundaries.

Boundaries act as a filter to keep you safe from the hurtful behavior of others while allowing in the love, support and nurturing actions we all need. Set your boundaries by: (a) determining what others cannot do to you or in your presence and (b) sharing this information respectfully with anyone who is stepping over one of your boundaries.

4. Take time for yourself.

Put together a list of all the things you love to do but haven't regularly made time to do. Put your list in priority order and enter the top five to seven items into your daily calendar. Your list may include things as simple as journaling, reading a great book, taking a bubble bath, yoga, etc. You'll be more successful getting to these activities when you give them a time and place on your calendar.

5. Be positive.

William James, the father of modern psychology said, "The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind." In other words, what you say and what you tell yourself impact the present and create your future. Love yourself and use the power of positive words, pleasing thoughts and affirming beliefs to live the life you want to live.

6. Work in a career you love.

If you're like most people, you spend the majority of your waking hours at work. You'll know you're in the right profession when: you wake up anxious to go to work, you want to do your best daily, and you know your work is important.

7. Surround yourself with a supportive community.

You are who you spend time with. Hang out with people who love and accept you just the way you are, are interested in you (not what you can do for them), lift you up (not wear you down), solve problems quickly, don't gossip or complain, and know how to have fun. Anything is possible with the right support.

8. Learn to say, "No."

We've all been influenced by people in our life who tell us we should do this or we ought to do that. As a result, we may end up living a life that others have decided for us versus living the life we want. So, the next time you think of something you ought to do or someone else suggests you should do, take a breath and ask yourself if it's something you want to do. If not, just say, "no" or "no thank you." When you say no to things you don't care to do, you are saying yes to you and this will free up your time and energy for the things you choose to do. Bottom line - you'll be happier.

9. Zap tolerations.

A toleration is something that irritates you and drains your energy because it needs to be done, fixed, removed, or changed. If you're like most people you may be tolerating 100 or more things! Put together a list of all the things that bug you, e.g. a dripping faucet, money concerns, your weight, shopping and running errands, not enough time, computer files out of control, your hair, a room that needs to be painted, etc. When your list is complete, group like items and see if one solution will eliminate multiple tolerations. For example, if you have piles of clothing in each bedroom, dirty windows and dust bunnies on your floor, hiring a housekeeper will zap all three tolerations. Line up a housekeeper, today. Then, commit to spending a chunk of time each week to zap your other tolerations. If you have a toleration that you don't have the skill or know-how to fix, consider calling an expert or seek out a skilled professional to trade services with.

10. Get your needs met.

A "need" is not an option, it is something you must have to function fully. It is differentiated from a "want" in that a want is optional. Unmet needs can drive you to distraction and worse. Determine what needs you have that aren't being met, if any, and then take the appropriate action to get them fulfilled. Example: If you've taken a big hit and are going through a career transition, ask a good friend to call you two or three times a week to check in with you and give you support. Other options include calling your own voice mail and leaving supportive messages or hiring a coach who specializes in career transitions. When you acknowledge and satisfy your needs, you will be free to focus on other areas of your life.

If you want to be happier and more successful, focus on the things you have the power to control.

Pam N. Woods is co-author of a bestselling book, Create the Business Breakthrough You Want: Secrets and Strategies from the World's Greatest Mentors; endorsed by Ken Blanchard and Dr. Stephen Covey. She is a Coach U graduate and President of Smart WorkLife Solutions, a coaching and consulting company devoted to co-creating customized solutions to fit clients business and personal organizing needs. Prior to founding her own firm she had a successful 20+ year career as an insurance executive and Vice President of Human Resources. For more free how-to articles and advice, or to contact Woods, visit http://www.worklifecoach.com. Copyright 2004 - Pam Woods

posted by 56046 @ 3:56 PM 0 comments

American Consumers Are Short on Discipline When it Comes to Parting With Their Income

Like a 4-year-old child at the checkout counter in a supermarket, American consumers want just one more impulse buy to make their buying day complete, and apparently the more expensive it is, the better.

Here is an example: A 68-year-old, semi-retired businessman shells out $600,000 for a recreational vehicle which costs about $550 to top off at the pump. He and his wife are tooling around the country in an effort to have fun while they can.

His comment on the decision is that "This isn't a dress rehearsal for lifethis is it. We're curtailing nothing." Those big tears you see following his comment might well come from any children who see their inheritance fading away into the sunset with dad and mom.

Like a dog in heat, if we have it we tend to spend it in America.

All of this impulse buying is detailed in a recent USA Today article with this headline: "Spending is hotter than the 4th of July". And indeed it apparently is.

Although the median amount of credit-card debt carried by the typical American is about $6,600 (this is not a typo), 13% of respondents in a recent online poll reported balances higher than $25,000, according to CardTrack.com.

"Never have Americans, who have always liked their toys, been faced with a situation where their impulses are so hard to control," says Stuart Vyse, a professor of psychology and author of the upcoming book Going Broke: Why Americans Can't Hold on to Their Money.

The fact is that we as consumers can buy almost anything we want anytime we want on the easiest terms we want. Sellers and lenders have no compunctions about selling us what we do not need at a price we cannot afford and at a rate of payment that can eventually drive us into bankruptcy.

Sellers and lenders, especially credit card lenders, have raised this willingness to line their pockets at our expense to an art form. And yes, I understand and agree with the observation that we all need to be responsible for our actions.

What I do disagree with is this: How can doing the right thing with right thinking and right motives justify lending consumers money and credit when they do not deserve it, and then leaving them no smarter but broker and deeper in debt in the process?

All of this unmerited lending is creating and concentrating wealth among America's very rich, and the rich club in America is growing faster and farther away from America's poor and middle classes.

"For the first time in history, more than half of all earned income, specifically 50.4%, is going to 20% of the U. S. population, which amounts to $3.5 trillion in the hands of 23 million households," says Peter Francese, a demographic trends analyst for ad and marketing giant Ogilvy & Mather.

So more than half of the earned income in America is going to 20% of the population, leaving the other half to 80% of the working stiffs that are left to continue buying things they do not need at prices they cannot afford on credit.

A key component of this impulse spending happens because too many Americans think they can afford it when they cannot.

Families are less frugal today, in part because only 25% of households have married couples with children, a significant drop from 50% in 1960 and the lowest percentage in census history. We have a census procedure in this country to learn these kinds of sociological shifts.

There are more working couples without children who have more disposable income and keep spending rather than realizing their good fortune and saving. Leading the spending spree are the seniors mentioned at the beginning of this article.

Seniors have so much spendable income that a Luxury Marketing Council has been created to advise top brands on consumer trends for a growing group of seniors that have at least $1 million in liquid assets. They do not need to sell their home to buy a $125,000 Maserati, they simply write a check out of one of their accounts.

I personally would not encourage this kind of spending among any consumers, and especially on an automobile which is a decreasing asset. If you cannot control your impulse to buy, at least buy land or developed properties that might well appreciate over time.

The USA Today article carried information by Pitney Bowes MapInfo which identified the Top 20 Counties nationwide with the highest average expenditures annually per household. Here are the Top 7:

1) Marin, CA - $68,782

2) Fairfield, CT - $65,263

3) Fairfax, VA - $63,569

4) San Mateo, CA - $63,229

5) Morris, NJ - $62,995

6) Somerset, NJ - $62,345

7) Westchester, NY - $61,425

I identify these counties as "high rent districts" which are too expensive for most people to buy a home. One thing is for sure, if you do not make some major money, you are not going to be able to keep up with those earners who can.

Not all of us suffer from this apparent impulse to buy.

The answer to impulse control just might be in yoga. Yoga taught me "impulse control", the ability to feel an urge and delay acting on it. Yoga also taught me that when stability becomes a habit, maturity and clarity follow.

While earning money has a way of increasing financial intelligence quickly, I learned a long time ago that a fool and his money are some parted.

I will keep the $125,000 and you can have the Maserati. I will keep the $600,000 and you can have the recreational vehicle. Eventually, cash is king; the car and the recreational vehicle will eventually end up in the junkyard with a lot of other impulse purchases.

Copyright 2007 Ed Bagley

Ed Bagley is the Author of Ed Bagley's Blog which he Publishes with Original Articles on Current and Past Events, including Analysis and Commentary on Lessons in Life, Movies, Sports, Internet Marketing, Jobs and Careers that are intended to Delight, Inform, Educate and Motivate Readers. Visit Ed at . . .
http://www.edbagleyblog.com/MovieReviewArticles.html
http://www.edbagleyblog.com/LessonsinLifeArticles.html

posted by 56046 @ 6:48 AM 0 comments